Someone I love has been facing the most difficult situation to ever occur in their life - where one tiny mistake has attempted to completely destroy their life. I've prayed harder than I have ever prayed, and have been overwhelmed with a fear I have never known. All the while, I attempted to have faith that God was still in control of this person's life and is bigger than the evil pain threatening them. It feels as if my knees are bloody from kneeling to pray. Here life was, moving positively with a future and outcome so easily predicted, and bam - my friend was knocked off their feet. My faith and emotions have been on a roller coaster. Until last week, when I got the most amazing peace about the whole thing which inspired these thoughts.
The thing about life is bad things happen. Life can be mostly good, but this world is full of sin, with humans who have free will. God doesn't make bad things happen, humans do. We move and try to conduct our lives the best way we can, but some are using their free will against others, hurting, bashing, destroying. But the fact that bad things happen doesn't mean that we have to be depressed. The old quote of "Life sucks, then you die", is bogus. Because beneath all the pain and torture of this world, there is immense beauty and joy. Sometimes, bad things happen. But there is too much good out there, and too big of a God, to destroy our hope for a better tomorrow.
The thing about humans is we can't always control what happens to us. We can take precautions, and be the best we can but when the hurting, bashing, and destroying comes, sometimes we're powerless to stop it, and we can't go back and change it. That doesn't mean we're weak, or that God is weak, and it doesn't mean we should curl up and die. Pain will come to an end, and there is still beauty and joy to be had. Lack of control drives us humans crazy. But faith has the power to heal. Faith that God is in control of our lives and while he didn't cause what happened, he can help us heal and move on from it. Even if we have no idea what will happen next.
The thing about faith is it's not meant to be easy. It's far from easy, actually. God didn't create us to be robots or drones. We're so incredibly designed with a million details that sum us up that even after all the thousands and thousands of years we humans have searched, we still don't fully understand every function of the human body. It's our nature to question, our nature to demand answers. And there's nothing wrong with that. But what happens when we don't have the answers? When we don't know or understand why something has happened, our pleas for answers seem ignored, or when we don't know where our lives our going? Faith keeps us sane when the world tells us we're lost.
The thing I learned this week is faith doesn't go unrewarded. When I was finally able to have faith that God was in control even though I don't know why this difficult situation came up or what the final outcome will be; when I wiped my eyes from all the angry tears and sighed that frustrated sigh that feels like defeat and gave every worry over to God, I was rewarded with peace of mind and the understanding that sometimes the is no answer to why things happen, and that sucks, but it's not the end. And it doesn't mean God doesn't know why or doesn't have control. I'm rambling. My point is my friend will live. Their life may drastically change, but that doesn't mean God has turned his back on them. He is still mighty and loving. He can still work this situation for good, even if the good isn't visible for years. I will still pray for my friend, and I'll admit at times, I still have a hint of fear. But my fear isn't crippling, and it's not fear of the unknown, because I know the unknown is known by God (haha follow that one!). I fear the answers and solution won't be the ones I'm looking for. Even if they're not though, God is still in control, we are still loved, there is still beauty and joy in this world, and tomorrow is a new day.
